Long Distance, Bit Weird

Boo! Haha, only joking. Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada.
This week we have a literally terrifying episode for you. First off, Sooz and Michael have an eerie discussion about the upcoming American midterm elections, the recent Brazilian election and even Toronto's mayoral race. AaAhHhH.
Then, Sooz tells Michael all about Ghostwatch, the infamous pseudo-documentary and horror mockumentary that aired on Halloween night in 1992. Presented as a live investigative BBC news broadcast looking into a poltergeist haunting a family home in London, Ghostwatch was watched by a staggering 11 million viewers. And it was so well done that quite a few of those viewers believed Ghostwatch was real.
Upon airing, Ghostwatch triggered immediate national panic, thousands of complaints, and caused such an uproar that the BBC has never shown it again. But how were so many people tricked? Possibly because the program was hosted by trusted television personalities Michael Parkinson, Sarah Greene, Mike Smith, and Craig Charles. Or maybe because the child actors were so believable. Or maybe it's because deep down, everybody believes in the supernatural? Either way, listen up to hear all about the phenomenon that was Ghostwatch.
PLUS: we present another edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News."
Subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes, including our Ghostwatch watch-along. 
***
ANNOUNCEMENTS
ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp!
SHOWS!
November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada.
This week, in honour of Halloween, Sooz freaks Michael out by relaying the story of the Enfield Poltergeist. In August of 1977, a single mother living in Enfield, north London told the police that she had witnessed furniture moving around her home, and that two of her four children had heard knocking sounds on the walls.
Over the next 18 months, the story of the Enfield Poltergeist became a tabloid newspaper phenomenon, as stories of levitating children, flying Lego, spooky voices and demonic possession filled the pages of the Daily Mirror and The Observer. 
So, was the Enfield Poltergeist real? Could it have possibly been a hoax? And what did this paranormal story have to do with British working-class life in the 1970s? Listen up to find out!
But first, we present a sausage-focused edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News."
And subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. 
***
ANNOUNCEMENTS
ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp!
SHOWS!
October 25th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Komedia, Brighton TICKETS
November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada.
This week we welcome comedian Andrew Johnston back to the pod to talk about some of the most notable female artists who rose to fame in Canada during the 1980s and 90s. Did they conquer the global charts? Not necessarily. But they were certainly on Canadian TV a lot. 
Artists discussed in this episode include Atlantic Canada's most infamous communist agitator Rita MacNeil; Metal Queen Lee Aaron; blues singer/Canadian Idol judge Sass Jordan; wedding popsters Candi & the Backbeat; dance floor legends Simone Denny and Love Inc.; and melancholy balladeer/celebrated comedian Jann Arden. 
But first, we present an edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News."
Be sure to follow Andrew on Instagram.
And subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes.
***
ANNOUNCEMENTS
ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp!
SHOWS!
October 18th - Sooz at Sunday Cabaret @ Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London TICKETS
October 25th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Komedia, Brighton TICKETS
November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

On this week's Patreon exclusive bonus episode we're reading more of the least sexy columns every written: sex columns from The Metro, London's favourite free newspaper. This is just a preview, for the full episode head to our Patreon where you'll also find a bunch more exclusive episodes and other content.

On this week's Patreon exclusive bonus episode we're being sophisticated grown-ups and, inspired by the lady who diarrhoea'd herself and everyone else at Hyrox, talking about other athletes who have done the same. It's so nice! This is just a preview but for the full almost-hour-long YES THAT'S RIGHT WE TALK ABOUT THIS FOR AN HOUR episode head to our Patreon where you'll also find a bunch more exclusive episodes and other content.

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada.
This week Sooz tells Michael the story of 90s phenomenon Lara Croft, the superstar lady protagonist of the incredibly popular Tomb Raider video game franchise. Was she aimed at girls? Did she go to school with Prince Charles? Why did her appearance change from game to game? And was there really a perverted cheat code that made her clothes disappear? Listen up to find out the answer to all of these questions and more!
But first, Michael reads TWO missives in this week's edition of "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News."
Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. 
***
ANNOUNCEMENTS
ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp!
SHOWS!
October 10th - Sooz at Quantum Leopard @ Bold Elephant, London TICKETS
October 18th - Sooz at Sunday Cabaret @ Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London TICKETS
November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada.
This week Sooz and Michael share their thoughts on the new, four-hour documentary about Elon Musk they saw at the Toronto International Film Festival. Is four hours too long to stare at Elon's beautiful face? Listen to find out!
But first, there's a pizza-focused edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News."
Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. 
***
ANNOUNCEMENTS
ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp!
SHOWS!
October 3rd - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Aberystwyth Comedy Festival TICKETS
November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada.
This week it's the second part of our deep dive into the world of Nigel Farage, Britain's favourite Guinness and champagne swiller. From the Brexit disaster to Reform's current £72 million pound problem, we talk about Nige's cool life since 2015.
Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon!
***
ANNOUNCEMENTS
ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp!
SHOWS!
October 3rd - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Aberystwyth Comedy Festival TICKETS
 
November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada.
This week it's time for us to go deep inside the world of Nigel Farage. From plane crashes to election losses to constantly getting covered in milkshake...this guy knows how to live a life! So much so that we've spread him out over two episodes. Mmmm spread em, Nige. Part one takes us from his birth to 2015. Episode two next week (or already available exclusively on our Patreon).
ALSO: someone writes in with a business idea in the latest edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News."
Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon!
***
ANNOUNCEMENTS
ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp!
SHOWS!
September 13 - Sooz guesting on NonCensored - The Last Show @ Kings Place, London - TICKETS
September 17th - Sooz and Michael are on together at Laugh Sabbath @ Comedy Bar (Bloor St), Toronto - TICKETS
November 4th - Sooz's new show Imposter @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. 
Are you ready to FARM? You'd better be, because this week's episode is about the wild and erotic history of British agricultural shows. Why? Because Sooz and Michael recently attended one, and it featured top tier livestock, a band playing Rolling Stones covers, and a parade of vintage tractors operated by middle class men cosplaying as farmers. Get into it, city slicker.
ALSO: a new, cider-themed edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News."
Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes, like our recent Only Fools and Horses watch-along of the episode "Who's a Pretty Boy?" (Series 03, Episode 07). 
***
ANNOUNCEMENTS
ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp!
SHOWS!
September 3rd - Michael at Laugh Sabbath @ Comedy Bar (Bloor St), Toronto - TICKETS
September 6th - Sooz at Sunday Cabaret @ Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London - TICKETS
September 10th - Sooz at Stand Up for Gaza @ Old Queen's Head, Islington - TICKETS
September 13 - Sooz guesting on NonCensored - The Last Show @ Kings Place, London - TICKETS
November 4th - Sooz's new show Imposter @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS